She taught me to call out "scripted fights"—arguments where I was secretly hoping for a dramatic make-up scene rather than a practical fix. "If you want a cinematic relationship," she warned, "you will unconsciously create cinematic problems."

I bristled. “What do you know?”

In movies, fights are dramatic turning points. There is a yelling montage, a slamming door, and then a montage of sadness before the reconciliation. Lena explained that this structure is toxic if applied to real life.

Over the next few months, Chloe became my unofficial, highly sarcastic relationship coach. She’d sit cross-legged on my bed while I detailed my latest romantic disaster. She’d wave a piece of toast like a conductor’s baton and dispense her wisdom.